Since I mentioned, well, no, announced………. that I would leave Indonesia for Holland to get my PhD, I received many wishes from my friends and family. Some said congratulations, some stated their appreciation, some asked how can they do the same and of course as always as someone leave a company, the others always mentioned: “Please let me know if there is vacancy in your new place….”J
Somehow not too surprising, most of my friends who congratulate me always said: “Great now you can have a “bule” (foreigners, Caucasian) for a husband!” Or “Great, than you will find your husband there!” WHAAAT? Hallo?
Instantly, I reminded them that I’ll go to Holland for study, to fulfil my dream to write my own protocol. I even tried to explain to them on how my project will actually help them. Sometimes, when I had nothing to do besides arguing them, I demanded a wishes revision to something like: “Hope you will finish my study sooner” or “Hope you can pass as Sugma Magna Cum Laude” instead of winning a Man’s heart. They usually just laughed and said: “No, No need, we’re sure that you will achieve it, that’s why we don’t wish for it, we wish for something else!” Oh may! I don’t know whether that is a compliment of my educational capability or an insult of my social indifference.
One wishes that I never know whether it was a compliment or an insult came from one of my colleague. She wished me to be “more serious” with my life, as I have very serious with my work. Hemmm…. What’s that? I never know why this colleague thought I don’t put my life in serious line. Well, if someone, who is loyal to her dream, focus on it, plan everything for her future carefully, work hard (and seriously), gambling on a standard happy-convenience-secure life, isn’t that consider as serious? How should it be more than that?
Other congratulations came with a request: “Bring me back some “ Bule” ya !” Ok, now they want a “Bule” as a present! Again, I don’t know whether this means the person who said that think highly of a Caucasian or on the contrary believe that a Caucasian is a something that can easily bought and give away as presents.
Fortunately, beside those wishes, I also got encouraging wishes from my colleague’s abroad (see, why it is only the Indonesian who thought about married life equals to happiness and “Bule” is a species with a higher rank). Most of the foreign colleagues wished me success and said how happy they are on what I got. One wish I like the most came from an Australian Colleague: “Wish you the best in Your Next Adventure!” Doesn’t life will be boring without an adventure? Doesn’t life will be dull without risk and obstacles? Well, it is by nature that Indonesian would not choose a risky life and befriended with obstacles. I just have to accept that. Hope they’ll accept that not all Indonesian is the same.
So, a wish is a gift from a friend that you can not refuse. A gift can be a jewellery box and the giver may thinks that beautiful diamonds should be put in it, but still the receiver can put anything they want inside the box, and no one can argue him, as it is now his. Whatever wishes my friend had on me, I thankfully received. I still love the gifts, but sometimes I don’t want them as it is. I always want more from my life, including my things.
Thus, what did I do with the wishes I don’t want? I give away to the ones who really need it; best wishes for them!